He
says. "You gals have to pay half of the tab."
By
Mick Richards
I
once spent a meal being berated by a cute feminist on
why I was such a jerk for being a man and not a woman.
And when the check came, I reached for it - she didn't
move. She didn't offer to pay half, and didn't even pretend
to. This had been a spur-of-the-moment dinner date, and
was her idea. She had even chosen the rather pricey sushi
joint herself. Later, when she had a chance to compensate
for the dinner debt by springing for a movie, she didn't.
I paid for the movie and was rewarded by being screamed
at for opening the door to the theater for her. "That's
the kind of male chauvinism I was talking about, Mick."
This kind of stuff is confusing to a guy. Why is it that
99 percent of the time, you want to be treated and respected
as equals, yet when it comes to paying for dinner, you
turn into June Cleaver? The bottom line is that you gals
have to pay half of the tab. If you want equal rights,
equal pay, equal time in the bedroom, and equal everything
else, then you have to pay for half of dinner as well.
Period. You can't have it both ways.
Chivalry
Lives
I
do believe in chivalry. I think guys should hold the door
open for women because doors are heavy, and let's face
it, all women really need us for is lifting heavy things.
I pull my date's chair out for her at dinner because women
seem to enjoy it and I'll do damn near anything that may
improve my chances. I've never laid my coat over a puddle
so that a woman could walk over it because I live in Southern
California, and there just aren't many puddles. I do hold
umbrellas, offer coats in the cold, and generally treat
the women I care about like queens because I love them.
But always paying for dinner is where I draw the line.
My
point of view may be skewed somewhat by the fact that
the majority of women I date make more money than me.
These days it is not uncommon for a fully employed, independent,
financially secure woman to expect her deadbeat writer
boyfriend to pay for things like meals, cabs, and bar
tabs. It defies all logic. Ridiculous disparities in earnings
should negate any sex-based approach to check splitting.
She
Says. "Treat a lady to a night out every once in a while!"
By
Nina Gallagher
Chivalry
- The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery,
courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
*Source: The American HeritageŽ Dictionary
of the English Language, Third Edition
If
chivalry is dead then I'm joining a primitive tribe, where
money isn't an issue and dining out means, literally,
dining out, and there's no stuffy waiter agonizing over
whom to present the check to at the conclusion of the
meal.
What
happened to our old concept of a date? A man finds a woman
attractive, he asks her out, she says yes, he takes her
to dinner and maybe a movie, and to show her that he knows
how to take care of others, he pays the tab. In the good
old days, it was called chivalry; a knight in shining
armor rescued the damsel in distress from the fire-breathing
dragon.
While
most women would like to avoid the stereotypes that were
forced upon them in those times, there are aspects of
the life that can be carried to the present day. Many
women still appreciate being taken care every once in
a while (doesn't everyone?). While asserting our independence,
it's comforting to know that there is someone to lean
on. Let's face it ladies, it's a turn-on to know that
there is a big, strong man waiting to take care of us.
And it's not like we don't take care of them. I haven't
met a man yet that likes to do laundry or sew a button
back on to a shirt.
Regardless of advances in feminism, many men and women
still believe that a man should be a provider. I'm not
asking for you to believe that men should be the sole
breadwinners, just that they treat a lady to a night out
every once in awhile. The caveman went out hunting and
brought home the bacon. In modern times, a man should
use his typically larger income to spring for sushi. Let's
not kid ourselves; even though women have moved into the
workplace, men still make more money. According to the
U.S. Census Bureau, on average men made almost $20,000
more than women in 1999!
If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't mind picking
up the tab.
Do
you have an opinion on this subject? Click here to e-mail
Nina and Mick! Selected letters will be published.
