Canned Energy by Deborah Southard Testing the Energy Drink Waters print article      send to a friend

The mission

Staff writer Dave, our stalwart managing editor Nate, and I field-tested five different energy drinks currently on the market.  We deduced that mid-afternoon would be the best time for us to test the energy drink waters (that's the brain-dead hour when the prose stops flowing).  We chose to test Red Bull, Blue Ox, Dark Dog, Hansen's Energy, and Whoop Ass!  We rated each drink according to taste, boost, longevity, and side effects. 

The results

Red Bull:  We all agreed that Red Bull was super sweet; I thought it was a bit like a Sweet Tart (just like everyone else who enjoys its taste).  Nate and I got a little bit of energy from it but Dave wasn't too sure he felt anything.  The extra burst didn't last very long, approximately one hour for Dave and I and four hours for Nate.  Both Dave and I crashed after the energy wore off (typical effects of a sugar or caffeine high), but Nate didn't feel any different - although Dave and I noticed that he was extremely trigger-happy with his red pen.  I think Dave put it best when he said, "It didn't give me wings, but I sprouted something.

Blue Ox:  We had a difference of opinion on this one.  Dave thought it tasted like penicillin and both Nate and I loved it.  I had way too much fun with this one, Nate said it was milder than Red Bull, and Dave just hated the whole experience.  Blue Ox managed to get me through the rest of the workday, only lasted 1 ½ hours for Nate, and Dave couldn't be bothered.  I didn't crash afterwards, but Nate said it brought him down a bit, and Dave wished I hadn't made him drink it.

Dark Dog:  Dark Dog brought on another debate.  Dave loved it and said it tasted like Red Bull, but both Nate and I hated it (I thought it tasted like dog).  I didn't want anything more to do with it, Nate didn't get an energy boost, and Dave said it got rid of a stomachache that had been plaguing him all morning (we won't speculate as to the origins of the mysterious stomachache).  Interestingly enough, it also managed to eliminate a lingering headache of mine.  None of us felt any side effects other than the ones already mentioned. 

Hansen's Energy:  Both Dave and Nate thought this one tasted like Hansen's sodas (go figure).  However, I thought it had an aftertaste that would be too scary to identify.  Even though I hated it, it did help me concentrate and it pepped both Nate and Dave up as well.  No side effects to this one. 

Whoop Ass:  We waited a whole week for this one, and were sorely disappointed.  It just didn't really live up to its name.  We all liked the taste (and the name), it was like a soda, but it didn't give us a kick-ass burst of energy.  Nate and I felt alert for a couple of hours and Dave thought it was worthless.  There were no side effects to speak of.

Read the label

Before you go out and load up on energy in a can, there are some things you should know.  These drinks are a combination of sugar and caffeine; each brand carries a warning to people who are sensitive to either of the two.  And just because they've got fancy names for caffeine such as guarana (a natural form of caffeine not found in coffee), it doesn't mean that your body won't react in the same way it does to regular caffeine.  As Jeff Kotterman, a licensed sports nutritionist and board member of the San Diego chapter of the National Association of Sports Nutrition, so aptly puts it, "They don't have any nutritional value, and because of the combination of sugar and caffeine, you will invariably crash."

Cathy Sassin, director of the Intrafitt Nutrition Center at Gold's Gym in Venice, California, agrees.  "While an energy drink might be good for an emergency, if you need a sugar/caffeine boost there's probably an underlying problem such as hypoglycemia."  She recommends that you take a look at your diet.  "You need to look at what foods you are choosing to eat, if you're getting a balance of proteins and carbohydrates, and the frequency of your meals." 

Kotterman recommends sports drinks such as Gatorade, Powerāde, or Ultra Fuel for high endurance athletes who need to replenish their store of carbohydrates during a workout or directly after working out.  "I would recommend them to marathon runners, triathletes, and anyone who is having trouble recovering after a workout," he notes.  He would not, however, recommend energy drinks such as those we tested.  However, he adds, "It's not detrimental, post-workout, for an athlete."

As far as Dave, Nate, and I are concerned, our general consensus was that while these energy drinks might be a welcome change from coffee every once in a while, they might not be worth it in terms of nutritional or monetary value (each one costs about two bucks a pop)