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Should
I or Shouldn't I?
by Susan
Gail, Cosmetic Surgery Patient Advisory Director,
Imagine Your Health |
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Cosmetic
surgery is definitely not for everyone. You will read
that in every book and article you find, and it's the
truth. Prevailing health conditions may prevent some people
from being a candidate for this type of surgery. Surgeons
may be able to work around some health problems but not
all of them. Chronic ailments like heart and lung diseases,
diabetes, and high blood pressure may not eliminate you,
but could cause a less-than-desired aesthetic result.
If alcohol and/or drug addictions are present, you will
probably be ruled out completely; that is, unless you
decide to go on the wagon for at least one month before
and two weeks after your surgery. Make sure to tell your
doctor the truth about everything you take medicinally
or socially, no matter how foolish you may feel about
being judged. In fact, tell the truth about everything
from your age, current medical condition, to why you want
the surgery. The life you save could be your own.
What
drives you
You
must also get to the core of what is driving you to seek
cosmetic surgery. Was it something someone said? Were
you shown a recent photograph where you felt that you
looked as old as your parents do? Are you afraid of losing
your job or being passed over for a promotion by someone
younger? Is it leftover business from your childhood?
Ghosts and other fears like these must be identified and
released before any positive decisions can be made. The
doctor you actually need to see first may be a therapist,
not a surgeon. Don't be shy if you need to seek out the
help of a therapist. Separating what's real from your
imagination can only produce better surgical results,
if surgery is clearly what you end up wanting.
There
are no pat answers for why we think we need cosmetic surgery,
and every reason we have counts -- but it may not
produce the results we want. This kind of introspection
may be difficult for many of us, yet it is extremely important
that we push ourselves to do it. How else will we know
if we are choosing the right path? If there are issues
you need to resolve, now is the time to ask for assistance.
This is not an issue of gender. It applies to all of us.
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There
are no pat answers for why we think we need cosmetic
surgery, and every reason we have counts. But,
it may not produce the results we want.
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Beauty
and the beast
A
true story will help me illustrate my point. A beautiful
client of mine had an obsessive and jealous nature, fueled
by an extremely handsome husband who enjoyed tormenting
her by being overtly flirtatious with younger women.
I've worked with this woman for years and watched helplessly
as she made futile trips to many plastic surgeons, trying
so desperately to win her husband's approval. Before she
started this insanity, most women would have looked at
her with envy and admiration -- she was that lovely.
The
aftermath of each surgery was always the same. Her husband
criticized the results and berated her for her inability
to get it right the first time, as if she were performing
the surgery on herself! She had her breasts done over
so many times that she ended up fighting a drug addiction
to pain medication. She kept switching doctors, vainly
attempting to achieve perfection. Almost every inch of
her has been cut up and re-figured. Now her husband complains
about her scars! His mean streak, together with her insecurity,
could eventually kill her. She still isn't happy, and
never will be. The most horrible part is that now she
looks like a plastic surgery junkie with eyes that
are over slanted, lips pulled unnaturally toward her ears,
and a body that looks fake. What she sees in her mirror
is a mystery to me. Where is the beautiful woman she once
was?
Resolve
personal issues first
You
will never be happy with your post-surgical results unless
you can find happiness in your life before you
go under the knife. Cosmetic surgery isn't a prescription
for paradise. The only place that utopia can exist is
in a soul at peace. You don't have to love everything
you see in the mirror. I obviously didn't, or I wouldn't
have had my surgery. In my case, I did love my life and
wasn't looking to replace it or myself. I was used to
looking good and after a while I no longer saw that same
face smiling back at me from my mirror. That is what
motivated me.
No
one in my life thought I needed surgery but me.
The doctor I ended up with actually told me to come back
in five years! Sure, my looks were important, but I want
to stress that not looking perfect didn't stop me from
feeling beautiful or worthy. You must feel that way too
or don't have surgery. None of your expectations will
be realistic without a firm, positive self-image already
in place. The knife can never bring love or serenity
into your life.
Cosmetic
surgery cannot mend a broken heart or get you the mate
of your dreams. It can, however, increase your energy
by elevating your self-esteem. I was amazed by how many
of my clients shared their delight with me about experiencing
a higher energy level. I realized, however, that the extra
energy they were feeling wasn't extra at all. It was their
normal energy that was no longer diverted to worrying
about how their appearance no longer matched their youthful
spirit. Quite a phenomenon.
If
you feel certain this very moment that you are medically,
emotionally, and physically sound, and that you are making
this decision to have cosmetic surgery with reasonable
expectations, you might be a candidate. I say "might"
because there is more soul searching to come.
Susan
Gail is the author of Cosmetic
Surgery: Before, Between and After. She is
a cosmetic surgery consultant, Patient Advisory Director
for Einstein Medical, Inc., and creator of the Survive
and ThriveŽ postoperative care kit.
Susan's comprehensive website provides free information
and insider tips. If you would like to ask Susan Gail
a question, click
here to
post a message. She can also be reached toll free at:
877-SZNGAIL
Join
Susan Gail in our next issue to learn more about achieving
the results you want with cosmetic surgery.
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